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She took me into her bedroom and closed the door and suddenly shewas touching me in a tender way and for some reason I just loved theaffection and even when she started putting makeup and lipstick on myface I stood motionless with my stomach full of butterflies. Then sheput me in a bright yellow little girl's dress with those little whitesocks young girls wear, she sprayed perfume on my neck and wrists andput a red bow in my hair. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was intotal bliss. My sister led me out into the family room and when mymother saw me she burst into loud laughter, the way I recall it is thatshe laughed right in my face. My sister had tricked me, I did not haveany idea that she had been feminizing me to get my mother to laugh atme. I felt hurt that the positive feelings of the feminization which Ihad not resisted and in fact enjoyed had turned into me becoming thetarget of the joke. My sister had humiliated me. My sister did otherthings to humiliate me, whenever one. There is back-flow in the heart with the larger valves, and my heart would need to work harder to do the same thing that a smaller heart would do. For much of my first life, my heart needed to pump more than 20% faster to do the same thing as an average person. That increases the slower it pumps.Something that I hadn’t done since I started this life was to meditate in bed and try to lower my heart rate. It was something I did throughout Jr high. At 16, I could drop it to just under 20 BPM. I wanted to be able to lower my heart rate so I could appear dead. In the end, I deemed the effort not worth the reward, so I stopped training at it.“Let’s see how much you can lower it?”Most people can only raise or lower it at will by 10%. I used to do it more than 50% easily, and it would only take about 10 seconds.Instantly, when I concentrated, I could feel my heart rate slow. Moira, exclaims, “WOW!”I don’t want to lose my concentration, so I don’t look. I continue to concentrate for about 30.
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